Date Night Without The Kids
Oct 27th, 2007 by Renee Michaels
Having children has brought unbelievable joy (and pain, worry and anxiety) into your relationship. Not only do you juggle your jobs, but depending on the age of your children, lose sleep every night, are running around taking your kids to after school activities, planning weekend trips with the kids, cheering them on through everything and anything, and all the 1,000,001 things it takes to keep your family healthy and happy.
So what have you and your mate done for fun lately? Hopefully, you haven’t decided to put off enjoying time together as a couple until the kids are grown. Wait that long and you might wind up being total strangers by then. Making time for a date night without the kids may seem impossible. You’re just too damned tired, stressed out and all the rest of it. And the last time you went out on a date, all you did was talk about the kids anyway, so it didn’t really feel like a date.
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Kids enjoy seeing their parents have fun, be relaxed and showing love for each other. It’s not particularly healthy for kids to feel that they’re the center of a family’s universe 100% of the time. Seeing Mommy and Daddy having fun all by themselves is like them going out and playing with their friends by themselves. They understand that.
What do you need to do? Set some ground rules for fun! It may take a little practice, you may feel guilty, but nobody’s gonna give you a medal for being a parent martyr, including your kids.
- Plan your dates ahead of time and take turns planning it so you each get a chance to do something you really want to do.
- Make this a time just for you two: don’t talk about kids, jobs or anything that’s going to stress you out.
- Who says it has to be at night? If you can only get someone to watch your kids on a Saturday afternoon, grab that opportunity when you can get it.
- Be romantic about it: ask your mate for a date as if you weren’t married. Get a little dressed up, make it special. If you feel attractive and radiant, your spouse will pick up on your “scent.”
- Buy a small romantic gift or write a love letter or note to give on your date.
- Try something new: take a Latin dance class together, go on a hot air balloon ride, take a wine tasting class. Or rent a motel room for a few hours and meet each other there as if you were having an affair…whatever floats your boat. It doesn’t always have to be a romantic restaurant. Mix it up.
- It doesn’t always have to be a big deal either. Slipping away for a few hours to enjoy a walk in a park can do it. Don’t put pressure on yourselves that every date has to be a big deal or it doesn’t count. What counts is what that you are making romantic time just for each other.
Take our “When was the last time you dated without the kids?” poll. Has it been too long? So start right now to plan some “love oasis time” for yourselves. Plan a regular romantic evening with your spouse and you’ll wonder why you didn’t starting dating your mate sooner!